“The Doctor’s almost as clever as I am.”
Zoe Heriot may be the Krotons’ pet but she must have been expelled from modesty school.
Yes, this is The Krotons, a saga of sub-standard scientists, snaky CCTV spies and shouty fridges from another world.
The Doctor flunks, Jamie fights and Zoe infuriates while the Gonds lack the gonads to take on their reclusive rulers.
Will Beta reveal the secret of transmat to his backward brethren (or is it still at Beta stage)?
From which Brummie enclave of Johannesburg do the Krotons hail?
Will the Doctor’s twanged nipple ever recover?
And do Jim and Martin think the story is the work of High Brains or should it be dispersed?
Find out here.
“You have returned to us, Doctor. Your travels are over.”
But thankfully not forever. It was, still, a long way from being all over.
So Jim and Martin stagger to their century milestone with their biggest story yet, The War Games.
It’s an epic tale of trials, tribulations, heavily corrected (and impaired) vision, and a Very. Stupid. Voice.
The Doctor plays with fridge magnets, Jamie plays the fool, Zoe plays Villa like a violin and the War Lord plays with his real live toy soldiers – and gets a Paddington stare for his trouble.
Romans gawp and mince, wigs wander almost as far as the accents, and the scenery is chewed up, gargled and spat out – even when it’s as wobbly as a Quark under enemy fire.
So do Jim and Martin think this is a worthy end for a very worthy Doctor? Or was it ten parts of terrible tedium?
Listen in to find out.
“Isobel… where are yoooouuu?”
Come to that, where is Scooby Doo? Shouldn’t he be with those crazy kids in the Big Smoke’s syewers (sic) trying to take shots of scary Cyberm’n (one of them’s sick).
It’s all because of The Invasion, masterminded by perma-winking Tobias Vaughn and his woefully inept sidekick (and arse-kick), Packer.
The Doctor has an eye for a photo opportunity, courtesy of our snappy flapper, but Jamie proves not to be as photogenic as Zoe’s spangly bottom, despite his family-friendly weighted kilt. And the jury’s still out as to whether his dirk is more impressive than Jimmy Turner’s chopper.
Does Cyber-Plan B make any sense? Why hasn’t Vaughn killed Packer several times by now? And should we petition Philip Morris to recover the missing action sequences?
See if anything “has been agreeed” by Jim and Martin in this mammoth episode.
You’ll need the stamina of a Cyberm’n to listen to it all.