“My legs! My legs!”
Zero out of a million on the tact front from Ian, crowing about his pins when surrounded by legless Daleks.
Actually, they haven’t touched a drop but they have experimented with some freaky hallucinogens from their peacenik neighbours.
So this is the TARDIS foursome’s first awayday – The Daleks – and where better to visit than a quiet, pollen-free forest with nearby amenities, including free toilet rolls, gratis green grocery and more mercury than you could ever need (especially if you don’t need any).
But have some Thals found their own forbidden fruit?
Has the tripping Dalek come down yet?
How many more legs does Alydon have than Ian?
And where would Jim and Martin place the story on the evolutionary continuum from joke shop fake to perfect paragon?
Listen to find out.
It’s not often that a Doctor Who story reviews Jim and Martin but this is the topsy-turvy world of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy.
It’s all a bit of a circus as the Ringmaster puts the ‘c’ into ‘rap’, a foxy artiste blames it on the moonlight and the Chief Clown grins all the way to the emergency dentist. Ace is victim to some violent conducting and the Doctor prances, prestidigitates and experiences a warm burst on his exit.
Peaceful hippy Bellboy makes killer robots, Deadbeat mopes around waiting for Lovejoy to turn up and Mystic Morgana wishes she’d never agreed to a fan meet-and-greet. Captain Cook bores himself to death, a new stand-up dies on stage and Peggy Mount proves to be the Worst Dinner Lady in the Galaxy.
So did Jim and Martin enjoy the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the non-existent crowd? Or were they reaching for their zero score cards?
Listen to find out and to hear the lads review the Tom Baker and James Goss novel, Scratchman.
And let’s hope it stays merry after listening to Jim and Martin discussing the Series 11 episodes not yet covered in the Krynoid PodCast, and then the series as a whole.
We play out with John Gonzalez’s Christmas-tinged rendition of the Doctor Who theme (find it on YouTube https://youtu.be/6KVhSNS_xU8)
Hearty thanks from the Green Cathedral to everyone who’s listened, tweeted, retweeted, followed, liked and provided feedback over 2018.
We’ll be back in January 2019.
Until then, Happy New Year!
The unmistakable sound of the bells of Seville (and nothing to do with Peri running down a hillside).
So the JN-T holiday charabanc ends up in Spain in 1985 and his latest jaunt promises country yomps, moth collecting and acid sports, with dinner thrown in – several times over.
The Two Doctors manage to keep out of each other’s way for the most part as Sixie angles for centre stage, leaving his former self to a compulsory makeover, while Peri tries a new accent and Jamie just tries it on.
Meanwhile Shockeye wants the special stuff, Chessene wants special treatment and the superfluous Sontarans await their special appearance with He Who Can No Longer Be Named.
But did the story leave Jim and Martin replete and content or suffering from raging heartburn?
Listen to find out.
“Is that finger loaded?”
A good question because nothing is as it seems in Devesham-on-Oseidon.
The horse-brasses are plastic, the dartboard has a functional bullseye and the ginger beer may not be The Real Thing (but its supply is inexhaustible).
Then there’s Guy Crayford, who has a spacesuit of vacuum-resistant denim, incomplete underpants and an eye-patch which is purely cosmetic.
And, behind the scenes, the horny Kraals are eager to spread their infection and have been using fake UNIT personnel for practice.
But did Jim and Martin find The Android Invasion to be the real McCoy or as phoney as a Devesham publican?
Find out here.
“You’ve got some of it on your hands and you didn’t tell us anything about it. It was very wrong of you, wasn’t it?”
The Doctor makes Barbara feel small with a little ticking off. Fair enough though – she had almost died from the stiffest of upper lips (and a dangerously unbathed ankle).
Eco-whistleblower Arnold Farrow fares even worse with a slug in the chest and a ruined holiday, while his murderer – Mr (D?) Forester – escapes with a burnt aerosol and a bloody nose. But the bloody nosey Hilda and PC Bert save the day.
Ian has a knees-up in a matchbox, Susan shins up a drainpipe and the Doctor’s spirits sink in a basin as the regular cast prove there are no small roles, just small actors.
So did Jim and Martin find that good things come in small packages or that size really does matter?
Listen to find out.
“What is this horrendous place?”
Well, Nyssa, it’s Terminus – a place to which Bor was presumably drawn by nominative determinism.
It’s a drab old hospital where the porters are metal, the doctors are Goths and the burglars are New Romantics.
The Doctor wins a fight, Nyssa loses her skirt and Tegan draws the short straw, what with Turlough staring at her posterior and the extras revealing her upper assets.
Did Olvir train at the Wayne Sleep Combat Academy?
Is the Doctor’s creepy CCTV standard TARDIS issue?
Do the Vanir have enough dog poop bags to last until their next Ocado delivery?
And did Jim and Martin find Terminus to be a real tonic or some used Hydromel?
Find out here…