Episode 100: The War Games

“You have returned to us, Doctor. Your travels are over.”

But thankfully not forever. It was, still, a long way from being all over. 

So Jim and Martin stagger to their century milestone with their biggest story yet, The War Games.

It’s an epic tale of trials, tribulations, heavily corrected (and impaired) vision, and a Very. Stupid. Voice.

The Doctor plays with fridge magnets, Jamie plays the fool, Zoe plays Villa like a violin and the War Lord plays with his real live toy soldiers – and gets a Paddington stare for his trouble.

Romans gawp and mince, wigs wander almost as far as the accents, and the scenery is chewed up, gargled and spat out – even when it’s as wobbly as a Quark under enemy fire.

So do Jim and Martin think this is a worthy end for a very worthy Doctor? Or was it ten parts of terrible tedium?

Listen in to find out.

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Episode 093: The Macra Terror

“No-one on the Colony believes in Macra! There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist! There are no Macra!!”

Well maybe stop going on about them so much then?

He’s right though. This colony is lovely – except for the brainwashing, harrowing jingles, cheerless cheerleading, occupational hazards and the ministrations of hit security group, Ola and the Bootboys, that is.

Oh and the Macra, of course. Not that there are any Macra. Or are there…?

Well, yes there are, as the name of the story implies, and they’re a crabby (and shouty) bunch of crustaceans, with their grubby pincers on the reins of power within the colony. Meanwhile, Ben goes over to the dark side, Polly gets a haircut, Jamie has a fling and the Doctor has a problem with excess gas.

But did Jim and Martin give The Macra Terror 11 out of 10? Or did it just wash over their brains?

Find out here.

Episode 085: The Web of Fear

“I shouldn’t be down here at all, really. Driver, I am. See?”

Yes, perhaps it would be better if you were absent, Evans. You certainly drive everyone up the wall.kp085-artwork-300

But the Welsh wimp is not the only peril in the London Underground in 1968’s The Web of Fear. The slimmer-line Yeti now sling more web than Spidey, Professor Travers is now an old duffer cum Yeti whisperer, Harold Chorley is the obsequious and unacceptable face of the gutter press and somewhere a filthy traitor is at work…

Luckily, Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart is at hand, with his ever-shrinking batallion, while Ann Travers proves adept at rebuffing both amorous advances and unwelcome interviews and, somehow, finds time to smile at a rampaging Yeti.

Meanwhile, the Doctor is delighted by one of his balls, Jamie hides in a bin and Victoria drops an unidentified lanyarded object.

So is the return of this once-lost story a cause for celebration or should it have been left in the cobwebs? Listen here to find out what Jim and Martin think.

Episode 069: The Invasion

“Isobel… where are yoooouuu?”

Come to that, where is Scooby Doo? Shouldn’t he be with those crazy kids in the Big Smoke’s syewers (sic) trying to take shots of scary Cyberm’n (one of them’s sick).KP069 artwork 300

It’s all because of The Invasion, masterminded by perma-winking Tobias Vaughn and his woefully inept sidekick (and arse-kick), Packer.

The Doctor has an eye for a photo opportunity, courtesy of our snappy flapper, but Jamie proves not to be as photogenic as Zoe’s spangly bottom, despite his family-friendly weighted kilt. And the jury’s still out as to whether his dirk is more impressive than Jimmy Turner’s chopper.

Does Cyber-Plan B make any sense? Why hasn’t Vaughn killed Packer several times by now? And should we petition Philip Morris to recover the missing action sequences?

See if anything “has been agreeed” by Jim and Martin in this mammoth episode.

You’ll need the stamina of a Cyberm’n to listen to it all.